Been visiting my sick boyfriend all weekend, so I come home tonight to a filthy kitchen.
I say to the Beast, ‘Get in here and clean up this shithole kitchen.’
The Beast sighs and starts to clean.
Him: Why is it that you always ask me to do something when I’m busy  doing something else?
Me: Is there ever a time when you’re not doing anything and you say, ‘Hey, I think I’ll clean up my mess’?
Him: Um, no.
Me: There’s your answer.